Chapter 2 - Letters

 

A/N - Text written in Bold Italics is spoken in Chinese

It was all quiet by the time Tao had left to catch up with his friends. Every couple of minutes, Tao's annoying ringtone, the chorus of 'The Fox' would replace the silence and soon fluent Mandarin would be spoken in a fast and annoyed voice. Jongin was relieved once Tao was gone because he was slowly getting a headache. The two didn't speak to each other but Jongin did find out a few things about Tao. He was a nineteen year old Chinese boy who grew up in China but has moved to Korea in order to study in SMU. He trained wushu since he was a child and has plans to open up his own school of martial arts and that Tao had two personalities. The kick ass bad one and the soft hearted, crying one. Well this was going to be one long year.

After Jongin finished unpacking, he noticed the two envelopes he'd gotten from his mother and younger half-sister. He walked over to the night stand where the two letters were lying under the paperwork that the receptionist gave him. He opened his smaller sister's letter first. There were a couple of pictures of stick men whom she labelled on every picture. There was one with the two of them with big smiles on their faces drawn up with red crayon. The two stick figures were holding hands and the little girl had put in every little detail into the drawing, although the pair ended up having extra fingers on their hands and Jongin's hair being blue. At the top there was a sentence written in sloppy writing.

It said,

Me and the best brother in the whole wide world, my Jongin-oppa

Jongin smiled at that picture and flicked through the rest of the pictures. Although they weren't Picasso master pieces, Jongin admired that his little sister spent time to make these for him. It showed him how much she loved him and how much she cared for him. He was glad that she was his younger sister and he knew that although he wasn't with her right now, he knew that he would never let her get hurt; or his mother. There was a neatly folded pink page among the picture so Jongin thought that that was the letter that the little girl was talking about. He opened the pink page and started to try and make out what the letter actually said because he knew that his sister wasn't one with nice, neat writing.

Dear Jongin-oppa

I really, really love you and I'm very lucky to have you as my big brother. I love to spend time with you and I'm really going to miss you once you leave us. I hope you will talk to us often because I'm going to miss hearing your voice. I'm really going to miss you telling me bedtime stories and kissing me goodnight. I'm going to miss your jokes and dancing skills that you always show me. I really want to be just like you when I grow up and I hope you'll always stay by my side. I hope you like my drawings and I hope you'll take care of Fuzzyboots. You are my favouritest brother in the world and I'm going to miss you this much. I love you, Jongin-oppa.

Eunjung

Jongin smiled and read the letter over and over again, smiling like an idiot each time he read it. She was such a loving small girl and it just felt wrong that he had to leave her. Then he reached for the envelope his mother gave him. He knew that she enclosed money in it because that was the kind of person she is and Jongin was right. There was a big enough bundle of money enclosed in it. Jongin felt bad for taking this money from his mother knowing that the family was going through a financial struggle. Then he took out a letter and started to read his mother's beautiful, smooth writing.

Dear My Angel,

First of all I know you’re probably mentally scolding me right now because of the money but Jongin, this was money meant for you. I've saved it up little by little each year and I know that you're thinking right now why we didn’t use it back when we were at our worst. Sangdo also put in some money for you, hoping that you'll have an amazing time in college. I can't express enough how proud I am of you. I know that I didn't give you the best childhood that you deserved and I hope you can forgive me for all the things I did wrong back then. I know that you should've gotten better and I hate myself for not giving you that.

I know I haven't told you about your father over the years but I guess that it is time you get to know a little bit about him. I met your father in college when we ended being in the same classes most the time. Your father was my first true love and I never wanted to let him go. After we graduated from college, I fell pregnant with you. We were so happy about the pregnancy because we were already planning to start a future together. A couple of weeks after we found out about the pregnancy, your father proposed to me and I of course said yes. I thought I was the luckiest woman in the world for getting such a loving guy like you father. We moved into a small apartment together that you probably remember. I was the one you grew up in as a child before we moved in with Sangdo. We used to go shopping together to buy you things nearly every day and your father always accompanied me to every one of my doctors' appointments.

I remember the day you were born, a dark skinned angel which was sent to me from God. You were such a beautiful child and I remember the smile on your father's face as he held you for the first time. Tears of joy were falling down his face as he held you. You were ours and there was nobody who could take you away from us. Your beauty stood out from every single child in the nursery. You were different, a good different. You were my special boy. Once we got home we were greeted by your grandparents and your uncles and aunts in our small apartment. They all admired your beauty and your facial features. Every night you'd end up waking us up and making us let you sleep in between us because you hated sleeping in you crib. Although I always ended up being tired, you were the best thing that happened to me.

One night your father took me out for an anniversary dinner and we decided to walk back home since it was a beautiful night with stars littering the night sky. We walked hand in hand as a van pulled up beside us and men jumped out of it. They grabbed me and your father into a dark alley way where nobody could see anything. They started to beat your father telling him what a horrible man he was. They pinned my hands behind my back, and placed a knife to my neck as they made me watch the love of my life being slowly beaten to death. I screamed begging them to stop but they just smirked at me ignoring my begging. And as I thought that it couldn't get any worse, one of them took out a gun. Your father was lying on the ground by now coughing up blood. He looked at me who was still begging them to stop this and telling them that this was a mistake and they got the wrong guy, but one of the shut me up hitting me in the jaw with the head of his pistol. I looked into your father's eyes for the last time as he mouthed an 'I love you' before one of the men shot him multiple times in his chest making sure that he didn't survive. I screamed louder and louder, cursing at them and screaming at them but they ended up leaving me in the dark alley way with your dead father at my feet. I couldn't believe that he was gone.

I reported this to the police but I knew that they weren't going to do anything about this since you could never depend on them. That night I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone take you from me and that nobody could hurt you. I wanted to give you the best I could but if it wasn't for your uncle Hyunseung, I don't know if I could've done it. I gave you everything I could and I'm sorry if there are things that I couldn't give you. I hope you forgive me one day. I've put a photo of your father inside this envelope along with other pictures that I think you should see. I hope you forgive me for not telling you this earlier.

Anyway, I can't believe how far you've gotten in life. I'm happy that you’re so ambitious in life and that you believe in your dreams. I remember the day you told me that you liked to dance and how you would put on little shows for me and how I'd film them and watch them over and over again whenever you'd be gone for a field trip at school. You were so amazing in my eyes and you still are the most amazing thing in my eyes. I remember when I signed you up for hip-hop classes and that you said that you didn't like that dance and you said you wanted to dance like the boy in that TV program you used to watch every Saturday morning. You said that you wanted to do ballet and I was so surprised about that because I wasn't expecting that from a boy. And then you made me sign you up from gymnastics and jazz dance classes. I remember going to your practices and watching you repeat each step until you got it right. You were such a perfectionist and everything had to match each beat in the music for you.

Do you remember when you saw that movie with Jackie Chan and you loved his hair in it and decided to grow it out like him? How everyone used to think you were his doppelganger? I remember how you'd always pretend that you were this amazing martial arts artist and how you'd pose in front of the mirror with the little outfit you got from you uncle for one of your birthdays. I loved that hair of yours. I framed your face perfectly and you looked amazing with it. I remember the day you decided to cut it and how different you looked without it. You regretted it straight after you came out of the hair salon and I'd always laugh at your disappointed face and then take you out for chocolate ice cream.

You were my saviour in life and I want to thank you. Thank you for not letting me kill myself and not being alone in this big bad world. Thank you for being such a supportive and caring older brother to Eunjung and for accepting Sangdo so easily. I know it was hard for you but I know you could do it. Anyway, I hope you have an amazing time in college and I hope you take care of yourself well. I hope you make amazing friends because you know the people you meet in college are friends for like.

I'm going to miss you and I love you so much, Jongin.

Love, Your mother

Hyera

Jongin wiped a silent tear from his cheek as it slowly left the corner of hid eyes and started rolling down his cheek. His mother had gone through so much for him although she had many struggles in life. She was an amazing mother, he thought. He focused his eyes on the envelope lying beside his leg. He knew that there was a picture of a man who was his father. He knew that his mother never showed any pictures to Jongin and she hardly spoke about him because she didn't want her son seeing her upset. He knew that this was going to be hard for Jongin. But he knew he had to do it. He took the envelope into his hands and took out a handful of photographs.

They were photographs of him as a child with mostly his mother. But three of the pictures caught his attention the most. A picture of a young man with dark skin, short black hair and plump pink lips smiling at the camera revealing his perfect white smile. He examined the photograph carefully, examining each facial feature one by one. From the eyes to the nose to the tip of his chin. And then he looked at the back of the photo to see what was written at the back because his mother always wrote things on the back of photos to help them remember when it happened.

Thurs. 11th July 1991, Jonghyun smiling like always after a day at the park with his loving girl

That man was Jongin's father. That man was his mother's first love. That man helped her mom make him. That man was brutally beaten to death for being innocent. That man was dead.

He took another photo into his hand. This one was with a man holding a small baby in his hands while in one of those hospital robes. He once again looked at the back of the photo and read what it said.

Fri. 14th January 1994, Jonghyun holding our little son Jongin after Jongin was just born. My two baby boys, my angels.

Jongin turned to look at the picture at picture once again. He looked the photo over and over again, letting silent tears fall down his chocolate cheeks. He was amazed about how caring the man looked in the picture. How proud he was while holding his son. He was his and only his and his mothers. Then Jongin finally took the last photo and looked at it. This one was the most touching. It was a picture of him, his mother and father, smiling at the small child. Smiling at him.

Mon. 12th September 1994, Jonghyun, Jongin & I smiling together. Being a happy family after a talking a walk together. I love my boys. They are my happiness.

Jongin looked at his mother's smile in that picture. It was full of joy, full of happiness, totally different from her smile now. Her smile now was filled with worry, sadness and hurt. She missed him and he knew it. After all Jonghyun was the man she loved for 4 years who was taken from her one night, leaving her with a small child. By herself and her only self.

Chapter 1 - Goodbyes

His mother's tears slowly started to slide down her pale porcelain cheeks as she said her goodbyes to her one and only son. She knew this day would come but she didn't expect it to come so quickly. Nineteen years ago he was a small boy who still ran around the house in diapers but now there he stands in front of her; an exact replica of his past father.  The dark skin, plump lips, crazy chocolate hair and those dark orbs of his would melt any girl's heart. His mother wishes him to pursue his dreams although deep down she knows that she doesn't want her little baby boy to leave her and go out into the big and dark world. But she knows that she must let him go and pursue his career.

Although Mrs. Kim didn't have a fortune of money, her son was lucky to get a scholarship into university and chose his future career to be a lawyer. Jongin was always an amazing child and did anything for his mother. Mrs. Kim wanted her son to get a good education so she pushed herself that one step to pay for him high school and Jongin promised her that he'll make her proud. Jongin graduated from high school with honours and was one of the best in his year. He done this for his mother who made this all happen for him. Jongin received a scholarship from one of the best universities in South Korea as one of the teachers sent of an application off to the university and promised that his school would always support him and pay for everything. And now Jongin is standing in front of his crying mother bidding his goodbyes as he gets ready to leave her in Busan and travel to Seoul.

"Mom, please stop crying…" Jongin pulled his mother into a tight hug and placed a peck on the top of her head. "It's not like I'm going to war or leaving the country…" He chuckled slightly knowing how much of a deal this was to his mother. Mrs. Kim nodded into his chest before looking up at her son and cupping both of his cheeks.

"I know honey… just please stay safe there…" She said before placing a soft peck on her son's cheek. "And don't do drugs or abuse alcohol…" Of course his mother would say that thinking that Seoul was one of these gangster cities where all hell broke loose. But you couldn't blame her. After all she'd never been in the capital because she never wanted to leave her son alone.

"Mom, you know I'm not that guy who'd do that…" Jongin smiled placing back a loose strand of hair behind his mother's ear.

"I know, I know but don't let anyone pressurize you into doing that." Jongin rolled his eyes slightly because he'd already gotten that talk with his mother and step-father a couple of weeks back . "Call me when you get to Seoul, OK?" She said pulling her son into a tight embrace not thinking about whether he couldn't breathe or that most of his ribs were about to snap. She just didn't want him to go. She finally released Jongin from the hug and forced a smile but Jongin knew that behind that was sadness and worry.

"I will mom. Don't worry." Jongin then turned to his step father who he'd grown close to although at first he didn't know what had gotten into his mother that she began dating once again. "Please take care of my mother…" Jongin said before his step father pulled him into a quick hug.

"I will… and make us proud son." Mr. Yang smiled at his step son before Jongin bowing at him thank him once again.

"I will, I'll make the two of you proud." Jongin said before staring at his little half sister who was observing a spider who was climbing up the wall. "Are you gonna say goodbye to your favourite oppa or am I going to have to leave without hugging you?" Jongin said snapping the little girl back to reality. Jongin lowered to her level as she ran to hug him and give him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"I'm going to miss you oppa!!!" She said looking at her brother. "Are you going to miss me oppa?"

"Of course maknae!!! Be good to mommy and daddy and take care of them for me." Jongin said before ruffling the little girl’s hair.

"Of course Oppa" She said before looking at their mother and father looking at the two with smiles. "Oh, I have something for oppa… wait here and I'll get it…" The little six year old girl said making sure that her oppa stays in one spot.

"Hurry up, cos oppa has to get going if he's going to make it to Seoul before night time and he wants to wish his little sister goodnight!" Jongin said and as soon as he was finished the little girl ran into the house as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"Where's she off to?" Mr. Yang said looking at Jongin for answers.

"She says that she has something she wants to give me." Jongin replied to his step father before noticing that the driver of his cab had already put his luggage in the boot and was waiting for Mr. Jongin himself. Thanks be to god that the driver was patient because they should've left nearly half an hour earlier. Then Jongin noticed the little girl running out of the house with a stuffed animal of some sort and a big envelope. She was clearly out of breath once she reached her brother who was smiling at her.

"Here… Oppa… please keep Fuzzyboots safe with you" She said while panting and obviously referring to the stuffed animal who she was handing to her oppa. She then turned her attention to the big envelope in her other hand as she put it forward for her brother to take it.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure Fuzzyboots will be safe at all times and what this?" Jongin said taking the envelope into his hand.

"Read it once you get to your new house. I made it myself with the help of mommy and daddy" The child said taking her brother into one last bone crushing hug before stepping back beside her father.

"I'll make sure to read it once I get there" Jongin said before turning to his mother who was now a crying mess although she tried her hardest to not let tears fall. "I love you mom." Jongin said taking his mother into one last hug before wiping a tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

"Here…" Mr. Kim said giving Jongin and envelope but smaller than the one his sister gave him a couple of moments ago. "You'll need it…" Jongin nodded knowing that his mother has just given him money to support himself. "Stay safe, eat well and do your best Jongin. I'm so proud of you honey!" She walked Jongin to the cab and brushed his wild curly hair from his eyes. "Momma always loves you and remember that I'm always here if you need anything to talk about. Just call ok?"

"Goodbye mom." Jongin said slowly getting into the cab and closing the door behind him. He waved to his family who were still standing outside their house as the cab drove away with their son in it until it was out of view when it went behind the corner. Jongin rested his head on the head piece of the seat and stared out the window looking at his home town for the last time knowing that he won’t see this view in a long time from now, only on post cards and in magazines.

Jongin wondered about what his mother was doing right now. Was she still crying over him going off and leaving her? Was she looking at photographs of him as a child and remembering the good memories the two had together? Was she watching video tapes of him performing as a little child? Jongin smiled at that though knowing how much stuff his mother has stored over the years. Photographs, pieces of clothing which he wore as a baby, video tapes of him singing and dancing, medals and trophies that he got as a small child, drawing and paintings. You name it, Mr. Kim had kept them knowing how precious they were to her. After all he was her everything.

"You have a very loving family. You’re a lucky guy, you are." The driver said snapping Jongin out of him thoughts making him look up at the driver in the rear mirror. The driver smiled at him making Jongin chuckle a bit. He knew e was lucky after all that was a dream family for him and nothing could replace them. They were crazy but normal at the same time, strict but caring and they always supported each other when they one was down.

"I am ament I?" Jongin said looking down at the stuffed figure of a purple and green dragon which was lying on his lap. He smiled at it knowing that it was one of his sister's favourite toys and that she was willing to give it to her brother as a gesture of love.

"Feel free to drift off if you want. This is going to be a long drive especially that it’s a week day." The driver said while taking a left turn. Jongin just nodded as he looked out the window admiring the beautiful countryside of the small villages outside of Busan. It was quiet and there weren't that many buildings everywhere like in Busan. There were fields of ripe wheat and oats, fields with corn and others with animals grazing in them. This was natural beauty which Jongin had never seen. All his life he'd been locked up in a busy city. But now he was free.

Now it was the beginning of everything…

www

Jongin had finally made it to Seoul. After hours of travelling, after hours of waiting he was in the city of dreams. The taxi driver took out Jongin's luggage from the boot as Jongin just stared in awe at the university campus. It was huge and there were already many people walking around it although the lessons didn’t start for another week. Student with luggages and and maps in their hands wandered around obviously looking lost. Jongin bid his goodbyes to the driver and thanked him once again for making the journey happen for him. The driver drove away as Jongin gathered his luggage  and walked to the reception of the university to find an ahjumma sitting there while taking forever to type in a couple of symbols into the search engine before trying to find the 'enter' button on her keypad.

"Annyeonghaseyo." Jongin said politely as she caught onto his presence. "Could I get my room number and class schedule?"

"Of course sweetie… Now can you tell me your name and field of study?" The receptionist asked as she took out a large pile of papers before looking for her glasses and putting them on that they were resting at the tip of her slim nose.

"My name is Kim Jongin and I'm studying law" Jongin said giving the receptionist his ID and waiting for her to look through her paper work.

"Your room is E692 and your room mates are Oh Sehun and Huang Zitao. I believe that Mr. Huang has checked himself into the room earlier today so I guess you won’t be that lonely. Here are your class schedules and your classes start first thing Monday morning at 10:00 in Law Room 102.” She said before handing him a bunch of papers. “I’ve also included a map layout of the campus and the book list that you require in Mr. Kwon’s class. Do you have any more questions?”

"No, thank you. I'll get going now." Jongin said taking the key from the ahjumma's hand and he slowly made his way to his room. The dorm way was littered with boxes and luggages as each of the students slowly got comfortable in their new environment. Some were chatting in the hallway with others getting to know each other, while others placed their belongings into wardrobes and onto shelves. Jongin finally reached his dorm, he heard a rather annoyed voice coming from the room.

"Yes, mother I'll attend classes everyday… and no I won't sleep with any random girl like I did back then…" The tall, tanned boy said rolling his eyes while looking at his reflection in the mirror holding up a blazer to himself to look at what he looks like in it. "Mom, I'm not a goddamn kid anymore. I have my own life now… Yes I thank you for getting me to do those wushu lessons so I can protect myself…" He rolled his eyes once again before placing the piece of clothing back down and picking up a new one. "No, I'm the only one in my room now. I'm sharing it with two other guys." "No Mom, I won't become gay and spend my night's sleeping with them, GOD MOM WTF?"

"Their in the same year group as me… No I haven't met them before…" He said slowly but surely getting annoyed of him mother. "Mom, I pretty much doubt it that their going to stab me to death in my sleep… Mom they aren't mafia gang members." He said talking fast and annoyed Chinese. "Because one who kills people wouldn't be studying law or goddamn dance. They'd be studying the difference between crystal meth and heroine. NO mom, I'm not going to do drugs just like uncle Han… No I won't kill anybody… Mom please just hang up… No I won't starve myself to death… The names of my roommates?  Oh Sehun and Kim Jongin… Why? Kim JongIN mom not Kim JongUN. Big difference" Then the tanned boy noticed another presence standing at the entrance of their room. "By mom gotta go… Bye. NO I WON'T GET DRUNK AND RUN AROUND NAKED…"  He said before hanging up on his mother.

"Hey, you must be Oh Sehun?" The tanned boy said as he took out his hand to shake the other boys.

"Jongin, Kim Jongin…"

"Right, right… anyway, the bottom bunk is mine so you get to pick out of the two beds." He said before lying down on his bed which was covered in clothing. "And I'm Tao by the way…" He said as Jongin brought him luggage into the room and started unpacking. The two didn’t talk much until Tao told Jongin that he was going out to meet up with some friends before leaving the Busan boy by himself… Jongin was relieved because in the space of an hour, Tao had gotten endless calls from his mother about the tiniest thing and Tao's Chinese was starting to get on Jongin's nerves.

Peace and quiet at last.